第21章 麦田里的守望者 (1)
本书以主人公霍尔顿自叙的语气讲述自己被学校
开除后在纽约城游荡将近两昼夜的经历和感受。霍尔
顿是个个性复杂而又矛盾的青少年的典型。他有一颗
纯洁善良、追求美好生活和崇高理想的童心。他对那
些热衷于女人和酒的人十分反感，对校长的虚伪势利
非常厌恶，看到墙上的下流字眼便愤愤擦去，遇到修
女为受难者募捐就慷慨解囊。他对妹妹菲碧真诚爱护，
百般照顾。可是，愤世嫉俗思想引起的消极反抗，他
抽烟、酗酒、打架、调情，甚至找妓女玩。他认为成
人社会里没有一个人可信，全是“假仁假义的伪君子”。
他看不惯现实社会中的那种世态人情，他渴望的是朴
实和真诚，但遇到的全是虚伪和欺骗，而他又无力改
变这种现状，只好苦闷、彷徨、放纵，最后甚至想逃
离这个现实世界。
[ 美] 杰罗姆·大卫·塞林格（J.D.Salinger）
Old Phoebe said something then，but I couldn’t hear her.
She had the side of her mouth right smack on the pillow，and I
couldn’t hear her.
“What?”I said.“Take your mouth away. I can’t hear you
with your mouth that way.”
“You don’t like anything that’s happening.”
It made me even more depressed when she said that.
“Yes I do. Yes I do. Sure I do. Don’t say that. Why the hell do
you say that?”
“Because you don’t. You don’t like any schools. You don’t
like a million things. You don’t.”
“I do! That’s where you’re wrong — that’s exactly where
you’re wrong! Why the hell do you have to say that?”I said.
Boy，was she depressing me.
“Because you don’t，”she said.“Name one thing.”
“One thing? One thing I like?”I said.“Okay.”
The trouble was，I couldn’t concentrate too hot. Sometimes
it’s hard to concentrate.
“One thing I like a lot you mean?”I asked her.
She didn’t answer me，though. She was in a cock-eyed
position way the hell over the other side of the bed. She was
about a thousand miles away.“C’mon，answer me，”I said.“One
thing I like a lot，or one thing I just like?”
“You like a lot.”
...
“Anyway，I like it now，”I said.“I mean right now. Sitting
here with you and just chewing the fat and horsing —”
“That isn’t anything really!”
“It is so something really! Certainly it is! Why the hell isn’t it? People
never think anything is anything really. I’m getting goddam
sick of it.”
“Stop swearing. All right，name something else. Name
something you’d like to be. Like a scientist. Or a lawyer or
something.”
“I couldn’t be a scientist. I’m no good in science.”
“Well，a lawyer — like Daddy and all.”
“Lawyers are all right，I guess — but it doesn’t appel to me，”
I said.“I mean they’re all right if they go around saving innocent guy’s
lives all the time，and like that，but you don’t do that kind of stuff if
you’re a lawyer. All you do is make a lot of dough and play golf
and play bridge and buy cars and drink Martinis and look like a hotshot.
And besides. Even if you did go around saving guys’
lives and all，how would you know if you did it because you really
wanted to save guys’lives，or because you did it because what
you really wanted to do was be a terrific lawyer，with everybody
slapping you on the back and congratulating you in court when
the goddam trial was over，the reporters and everybody，the way
it is in the dirty movies? How would you know you weren’t being
a phony? The trouble is，you wouldn’t.”
I’m not too sure old Phoebe knew what the hell I was
talking about. I mean she’s only a little child and all. But she was
listening，at least. If somebody at least listens，it’s not too bad.
“Daddy’s going to kill you. He’s going to kill you，”she said.
I wasn’t listening，though. I was thinking about something
else — something crazy“. You know what I’d like to be?”I said“. You
know what I’d like to be? I mean if I had my goddam choice?”
“What? Stop swearing.”