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I returned to the window and fetched it thence.
'You have no business to take our books; you are a dependant,
mama says; you have no money; your father left you none; you ought
to beg, and not to live here with gentlemen's children like us, and
eat the same meals we do, and wear clothes at our mama's expense. Now,
I'll teach you to rummage my bookshelves: for they are mine; all the
house belongs to me, or will do in a few years. Go and stand by the
door, out of the way of the mirror and the windows.'
I did so, not at first aware what was his intention; but when I saw
him lift and poise the book and stand in act to hurl it, I
instinctively started aside with a cry of alarm: not soon enough,
however; the volume was flung, it hit me, and I fell, striking my head
against the door and cutting it. The cut bled, the pain was sharp:
my terror had passed its climax; other feelings succeeded.
'Wicked and cruel boy!' I said. 'You are like a murderer- you are
like a slave-driver- you are like the Roman emperors!'
I had read Goldsmith's History of Rome, and had formed my opinion
of Nero, Caligula, etc. Also I had drawn parallels in silence, which I
never thought thus to have declared aloud.
'What! what!' he cried. 'Did she say that to me? Did you hear
her, Eliza and Georgiana? Won't I tell mama? but first-'
He ran headlong at me: I felt him grasp my hair and my shoulder: he
had closed with a desperate thing. I really saw in him a tyrant, a
murderer. I felt a drop or two of blood from my head trickle down my
neck, and was sensible of somewhat pungent suffering: these sensations
for the time predominated over fear, and I received him in frantic
sort. I don't very well know what I did with my hands, but he called
me 'Rat! Rat!' and bellowed out aloud. Aid was near him: Eliza and
Georgiana had run for Mrs. Reed, who was gone upstairs: she now came
upon the scene, followed by Bessie and her maid Abbot. We were parted:
I heard the words-
'Dear! dear! What a fury to fly at Master John!'
'Did ever anybody see such a picture of passion!'
Then Mrs. Reed subjoined-
'Take her away to the red-room, and lock her in there.' Four
hands were immediately laid upon me, and I was borne upstairs.
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CHAPTER II
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I RESISTED all the way: a new thing for me, and a circumstance
which greatly strengthened the bad opinion Bessie and Miss Abbot
were disposed to entertain of me. The fact is, I was a trifle beside
myself; or rather out of myself, as the French would say: I was
conscious that a moment's mutiny had already rendered me liable to
strange penalties, and, like any other rebel slave, I felt resolved,
in my desperation, to go all lengths.
'Hold her arms, Miss Abbot: she's like a mad cat.'