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for myself, and by my own guidance, I ran the risk of getting into
some scrape; and, above all things, I wished the result of my
endeavours to be respectable, proper, en regle. I now felt that an
elderly lady was no bad ingredient in the business I had on hand. Mrs.
Fairfax! I saw her in a black gown and widow's cap; frigid, perhaps,
but not uncivil: a model of elderly English respectability.
Thornfield! that, doubtless, was the name of her house: a neat orderly
spot, I was sure; though I failed in my efforts to conceive a
recollections of the map of England; yes, I saw it; both the shire and
county where I now resided: that was a recommendation to me. I
longed to go where there was life and movement: Millcote was a large
doubtless: so much the better; it would be a complete change at least.
Not that my fancy was much captivated by the idea of long chimneys and
clouds of smoke- 'but,' I argued, 'Thornfield will, probably, be a
good way from the town.'
Here the socket of the candle dropped, and the wick went out.
Next day new steps were to be taken; my plans could no longer be
confined to my own breast; I must impart them in order to achieve
their success. Having sought and obtained an audience of the
superintendent during the noontide recreation, I told her I had a
prospect of getting a new situation where the salary would be double
what I now received (for at Lowood I only got L15 per annum); and
requested she would break the matter for me to Mr. Brocklehurst, or
some of the committee, and ascertain whether they would permit me to
mention them as references. She obligingly consented to act as
mediatrix in the matter. The next day she laid the affair before Mr.
Brocklehurst, who said that Mrs. Reed must be written to, as she was
my natural guardian. A note was accordingly addressed to that lady,
who returned for answer, that 'I might do as I pleased: she had long
relinquished all interference in my affairs.' This note went the round
of the committee, and at last, after what appeared to me most
tedious delay, formal leave was given me to better my condition if I
could; and an assurance added, that as I had always conducted myself
well, both as teacher and pupil, at Lowood, a testimonial of character
and capacity, signed by the inspectors of that institution, should
forthwith be furnished me.
This testimonial I accordingly received in about a month, forwarded
a copy of it to Mrs. Fairfax, and got that lady's reply, stating
that she was satisfied, and fixing that day fortnight as the period
for my assuming the post of governess in her house.
I now busied myself in preparations: the fortnight passed
rapidly. I had not a very large wardrobe, though it was adequate to my
wants; and the last day sufficed to pack my trunk,- the same I had
brought with me eight years ago from Gateshead.
The box was corded, the card nailed on. In half an hour the carrier