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about; within the last few months feelings had been stirred in me so
much more potent than any they could raise- pains and pleasures so
much more acute and exquisite had been excited than any it was in
their power to inflict or bestow- that their airs gave me no concern
either for good or bad.
'How is Mrs. Reed?' I asked soon, looking calmly at Georgiana,
who thought fit to bridle at the direct address, as if it were an
unexpected liberty.
'Mrs. Reed? Ah, mama, you mean; she is extremely poorly: I doubt if
you can see her to-night.'
'If,' said I, 'you would just step upstairs and tell her I am come,
I should be much obliged to you.'
Georgiana almost started, and she opened her blue eyes wild and
wide. 'I know she had a particular wish to see me,' I added, 'and I
would not defer attending to her desire longer than is absolutely
necessary.'
'Mama dislikes being disturbed in an evening,' remarked Eliza. I
soon rose, quietly took off my bonnet and gloves, uninvited, and
said I would just step out to Bessie- who was, I dared say, in the
kitchen- and ask her to ascertain whether Mrs. Reed was disposed to
receive me or not to-night. I went, and having found Bessie and
despatched her on my errand, I proceeded to take further measures.
It had heretofore been my habit always to shrink from arrogance:
received as I had been to-day, I should, a year ago, have resolved
to quit Gateshead the very next morning; now, it was disclosed to me
all at once that that would be a foolish plan. I had taken a journey
of a hundred miles to see my aunt, and I must stay with her till she
was better- or dead: as to her daughters' pride or folly, I must put
it on one side, make myself independent of it. So I addressed the
housekeeper; asked her to show me a room, told her I should probably
be a visitor here for a week or two, had my trunk conveyed to my
chamber, and followed it thither myself: I met Bessie on the landing.
'Missis is awake,' said she; 'I have told her you are here: come
and let us see if she will know you.'
I did not need to be guided to the well-known room, to which I
had so often been summoned for chastisement or reprimand in former
days. I hastened before Bessie; I softly opened the door: a shaded
light stood on the table, for it was now getting dark. There was the
great four-post bed with amber hangings as of old; there the
toilet-table, the arm-chair, and the footstool, at which I had a
hundred times been sentenced to kneel, to ask pardon for offences by
me uncommitted. I looked into a certain corner near, half expecting to
see the slim outline of a once dreaded switch which used to lurk
there, waiting to leap out imp-like and lace my quivering palm or
shrinking neck. I approached the bed; I opened the curtains and
leant over the high-piled pillows.
Well did I remember Mrs. Reed's face, and I eagerly sought the
familiar image. It is a happy thing that time quells the longings of