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me, because I am used to the sight of the demon. But, sir, as it
grew dark, the wind rose: it blew yesterday evening, not as it blows
now- wild and high- but "with a sullen, moaning sound" far more eerie.
I wished you were at home. I came into this room, and the sight of the
empty chair and fireless hearth chilled me. For some time after I went
to bed, I could not sleep- a sense of anxious excitement distressed
me. The gale still rising, seemed to my ear to muffle a mournful
under-sound; whether in the house or abroad I could not at first tell,
but it recurred, doubtful yet doleful at every lull; at last I made
out it must be some dog howling at a distance. I was glad when it
ceased. On sleeping, I continued in dreams the idea of a dark and
gusty night. I continued also the wish to be with you, and experienced
a strange, regretful consciousness of some barrier dividing us. During
all my first sleep, I was following the windings of an unknown road;
total obscurity environed me; rain pelted me; I was burdened with
the charge of a little child: a very small creature, too young and
feeble to walk, and which shivered in my cold arms, and wailed
piteously in my ear. I thought, sir, that you were on the road a
long way before me; and I strained every nerve to overtake you, and
made effort on effort to utter your name and entreat you to stop-
but my movements were fettered, and my voice still died away
inarticulate; while you, I felt, withdrew farther and farther every
moment.'
'And these dreams weigh on your spirits now, Jane, when I am
close to you? Little nervous subject! Forget visionary woe, and
think only of real happiness! You say you love me, Janet: yes- I
will not forget that; and you cannot deny it. Those words did not
die inarticulate on your lips. I heard them clear and soft: a
thought too solemn perhaps, but sweet as music- "I think it is a
glorious thing to have the hope of living with you, Edward, because
I love you." Do you love me, Jane?- repeat it.'
'I do, sir- I do, with my whole heart.'
'Well,' he said, after some minutes' silence, 'it is strange; but
that sentence has penetrated my breast painfully. Why? I think because
you said it with such an earnest, religious energy, and because your
upward gaze at me now is the very sublime of faith, truth, and
devotion: it is too much as if some spirit were near me. Look
wicked, Jane: as you know well how to look: coin one of your wild,
shy, provoking smiles, tell me you hate me- tease me, vex me; do
anything but move me: I would rather be incensed than saddened.'
'I will tease you and vex you to your heart's content, when I
have finished my tale: but hear me to the end.'
'I thought, Jane, you had told me all. I thought I had found the
source of your melancholy in a dream.'
I shook my head. 'What! is there more? But I will not believe it to
be anything important. I warn you of incredulity beforehand. Go on.'