第29章 我是女生，我叫巴黎 (1)
巴黎，是一个很普通的小女孩。和其他小女孩一
样，她善良、无知、任性、虚荣，想要快点长大，对
世界充满好奇。她在学钢琴的时候，遇到了诺森太太。
诺森太太为她打开了一扇真实世界的窗户，让她意识
到什么是真正的勇气，应该怎样用自己的眼睛来看待
这个真实的世界，怎样学会相处，学会宽容。
[ 美] 爱斯米·科德尔（ Esmé Raji Codell）
When I came to school the next day，I no longer cared about
being a polite person. It’s just like Django and Debergerac say:
1. If you’re likely to get in trouble for doing nothing you might as
well get in trouble for doing something.
2. When a fight’s coming，throw the first punch because then no
matter what happens at least you’ll know you got a good one in，
and
3. Don’t put your thumb inside your fist when you fight，because
you can break it that way.
So when there were only a couple of minutes until recess，I
said to Tanaeja，“Guess what，I hope you got some nice ones
in on my brother yesterday，because that’s the last day you’re
going to get to do that.”
“You and your brother，”hissed Tanaeja.“You always
flaunting him，walking with all your brothers around town. You
think you all that.”
What she is saying to me doesn’t make sense，but I am
wise now，I know things don’t have to make sense，just that I
have to take her down because This Cannot Continue.“ Why do
you beat on my brother?”
“What’s it to you? He can defend hisself，”she said.“ Why
he gotta be like that? It’s wrong.”
“Like what? He never did anything to anybody. He wouldn’t even
know your name if you weren’t up in his face.”I felt myself
winding up，like one of Debergerac’s toy cars that has a little coil
that twists tighter and tighter before it spins so fast it smells like
metal melting.“ That’s not right，Tanaeja，he can’t hit you back
because you’re a girl.”
“So is he，”said Tanaeja.“ He keep acting like that，he going
to die.”
I didn’t even feel myself leave my seat. All I hear is the
screech of desks sliding and girls screaming. I feel my fingernails
digging into the braids against her head. I feel her teeth wet
against my cheek，trying to bite down. I feel people pulling us
apart，but we’re like Velcro，little barbs of a long，long anger
hooked into each other.“ Stop it，stop it!”Miss Pointy was
shouting. Luz ran to the intercom button，chest heaving and big
worried eyes，looking for Miss Pointy to tell her to buzz the office.
But the recess bell had rung.
“You want to tell me what’s going on?”Miss Pointy
demanded，checking my cheek for cuts，checking Tanaeja’s
scalp for blood.
“Not really.”Tanaeja crossed her arms.
“I’ll tell you，”said Darrell.“ Tanaeja’s been pushing Paris’s
brother around at recess.”
“Be quiet，”warned Tanaeja.“ You-all better mind your
business.”
“Oh，yeah? What you gone do about it?”asked Darrell.
“Bring it，Miss Dark and Lovely，just don’t expect me to stand
here and take it. I’m the man.”
“Oh，don’t start up，Darrell.”Miss Pointy rolled her eyes.
“It’s true! My brother has bruises all over his back，Miss
Pointy? I told. I told!”
“No he doesn’t!”Tanaeja exploded.
“How would you know?”I felt my head reel around on my
neck in a nasty way .“You think it’s not gone come around，well
I got news for you.”
“I’ll take you right here，Minnie Mouse.”Tanaeja faced me.
“Ooo，”said the class.
“What are you people still doing here?”Miss Pointy’s voice
rose.“ Usually you can’t get to recess fast enough. Trust me，
nobody’s bringing anything or taking anybody”The class gave us
a wide berth as they filed out.
Miss Pointy looked back and forth between Tanaeja and me.
“I’m very disappointed in you both. How do you expect there
to be peace in the world if we can’t even have peace in this
classroom? ”
“I don’t expect it，”I blurted.
For the second time，Miss Pointy looked at me and didn’t seem
to recognize who I was. It took her a beat or two before she could
speak.“ You think your mother needs this right now?”Miss
Pointy asked Tanaeja.
“No，ma’am”said Tanaeja，rubbing her head with her
forearm. I tried to hide my wondering about what Momma would
do if she were called in a second time，but Miss Pointy didn’t seem
to wonder if my mother needed this. Tanaeja started looking that
same miserable way she uses in church. You’re kid-ding，right?
Girl，you have got to be kidding.
Then Miss Pointy told Tanaeja to go and cool off in the art
teacher’s room，and Tanaeja didn’t need to be asked twice. Not
fair，not fair!
“How come she gets to go?”I demanded，but then
politeness set in.“ I mean，you don’t have to work on me first.”
“I think I do.”Miss Pointy pulled up a chair so I would sit
right beside her. Then there was a long minute with just me and
Miss Pointy.“ This has been going on a while，huh? A lot going
on，”she said，finally.
My mouth was doing a crazy twitchy thing，turning down at
the corners，and I could not look at her at all for what seemed like
forever，but when I looked up，there she was，looking at me with
the most concerned，sad expression I have ever seen. I burst
out crying so hard that I put my head down on her desk. I could
feel her patting me on the place where if I had wings，they would
sprout.
“I’m trying to be brave，”I finally said. I wanted her to say，
1. Poor Paris，
2. You are brave，
3. I know you are a polite person and that you would never behave
this way if you weren’t pushed.
Instead，she said，“So is Tanaeja.”
“Who cares about Tanaeja?”I snorted
“I want to tell you something，”said Miss Pointy，“and even
though you are angry，I hope you will hear me. Sometimes people
become our enemies not because they are so different，but
because there is something in them that is so much the same，it
hurts us to look at it.”
“There’s nothing about me that is the same as Tanaeja，”
I insisted.
“Maybe there’s something about Tanaeja that is the same
as you. Maybe you have something that she also has. Maybe you
have something she is about to lose.”
“What?”I asked.
Miss Pointy looked a little torn，like there was something
she wanted to tell me but she couldn’t.“Let’s just say maybe
there’s something that you share that you don’t know you share.
That’s not to say she can beat on your brother.”Miss Pointy
straightened.“ That’s going to stop.”
“Miss Pointy，it can’t seem like I was the one to stop it.”It
was so hard to explain.“ He’s got to stand up for himself.”