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pavement, and that was a hatted head which now passed under the arched
porte cochere of the hotel.
'You never felt jealousy, did you, Miss Eyre? Of course not: I need
not ask you; because you never felt love. You have both sentiments yet
to experience: your soul sleeps; the shock is yet to be given which
shall waken it. You think all existence lapses in as quiet a flow as
that in which your youth has hitherto slid away. Floating on with
closed eyes and muffled ears, you neither see the rocks bristling
not far off in the bed of the flood, nor hear the breakers boil at
their base. But I tell you- and you may mark my words- you will come
some day to a craggy pass in the channel, where the whole of life's
stream will be broken up into whirl and tumult, foam and noise: either
you will be dashed to atoms on crag points, or lifted up and borne
on by some master-wave into a calmer current- as I am now.
'I like this day; I like that sky of steel; I like the sterness and
stillness of the world under this frost. I like Thornfield, its
antiquity, its retirement, its old crow-trees and thorn-trees, its
grey facade, and lines of dark windows reflecting that metal welkin:
and yet how long have I abhorred the very thought of it, shunned it
like a great plague-house? How I do still abhor-'
He ground his teeth and was silent: he arrested his step and struck
his boot against the hard ground. Some hated thought seemed to have
him in its grip, and to hold him so tightly that he could not advance.
We were ascending the avenue when he thus paused; the hall was
before us. Lifting his eye to its battlements, he cast over them a
glare such as I never saw before or since. Pain, shame, ire,
impatience, disgust, detestation, seemed momentarily to hold a
quivering conflict in the large pupil dilating under his ebon eyebrow.
Wild was the wrestle which should be paramount; but another feeling
rose and triumphed: something hard and cynical: self-willed and
resolute: it settled his passion and petrified his countenance: he
went on-
'During the moment I was silent, Miss Eyre, I was arranging a point
with my destiny. She stood there, by that beech-trunk- a hag like
one of those who appeared to Macbeth on the heath of Forres. "You like
Thornfield?" she said, lifting her finger; and then she wrote in the
air a memento, which ran in lurid hieroglyphics all along the
house-front, between the upper and lower row of windows, "Like it if
you can? Like it if you dare!"
'"I will like it" said I; "I dare like it;" and' (he subjoined
moodily) 'I will keep my word; I will break obstacles to happiness, to
goodness- yes, goodness. I wish to be a better man than I have been,
than I am; as Job's leviathan broke the spear, the dart, and the
habergeon, hindrances which others count as iron and brass, I will
esteem but straw and rotten wood.'
Adele here ran before him with her shuttlecock. 'Away!' he cried