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eyebrows, deep eyes, strong features, firm, grim mouth,- all energy,
decision, will,- were not beautiful, according to rule; but they
were more than beautiful to me; they were full of an interest, an
influence that quite mastered me,- that took my feelings from my own
power and fettered them in his. I had not intended to love him; the
reader knows I had wrought hard to extirpate from my soul the germs of
love there detected; and now, at the first renewed view of him, they
spontaneously arrived, green and strong! He made me love him without
looking at me.
I compared him with his guests. What was the gallant grace of the
Lynns, the languid elegance of Lord Ingram,- even the military
distinction of Colonel Dent, contrasted with his look of native pith
and genuine power? I had no sympathy in their appearance, their
expression: yet I could imagine that most observers would call them
attractive, handsome, imposing; while they would pronounce Mr.
Rochester at once harsh-featured and melancholy-looking. I saw them
smile, laugh- it was nothing; the light of the candles had as much
soul in it as their smile; the tinkle of the bell as much significance
as their laugh. I saw Mr. Rochester smile:- his stern features
softened; his eye grew both brilliant and gentle, its ray both
searching and sweet. He was talking, at the moment, to Louisa and
Amy Eshton. I wondered to see them receive with calm that look which
seemed to me so penetrating: I expected their eyes to fall, their
colour to rise under it; yet I was glad when I found they were in no
sense moved. 'He is not to them what he is to me,' I thought: 'he is
not of their kind. I believe he is of mine;- I am sure he is- I feel
akin to him- I understand the language of his countenance and
movements: though rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in
my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me
mentally to him. Did I say, a few days since, that I had nothing to do
with him but to receive my salary at his hands? Did I forbid myself to
think of him in any other light than as a paymaster? Blasphemy against
nature! Every good, true, vigorous feeling I have gathers
impulsively round him. I know I must conceal my sentiments: I must
smother hope; I must remember that he cannot care much for me. For
when I say that I am of his kind, I do not mean that I have his
force to influence, and his spell to attract; I mean only that I
have certain tastes and feelings in common with him. I must, then,
repeat continually that we are for ever sundered:- and yet, while I
breathe and think, I must love him.'
Coffee is handed. The ladies, since the gentlemen entered, have
become lively as larks; conversation waxes brisk and merry. Colonel
Dent and Mr. Eshton argue on politics; their wives listen. The two
proud dowagers, Lady Lynn and Lady Ingram, confabulate together. Sir
George- whom, by the bye, I have forgotten to describe,- a very big,