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voice. I mused on the funeral day, the coffin, the hearse, the black
train of tenants and servants- few was the number of relatives- the
gaping vault, the silent church, the solemn service. Then I thought of
Eliza and Georgiana; I beheld one the cynosure of a ball-room, the
other the inmate of a convent cell; and I dwelt on and analysed
their separate peculiarities of person and character. The evening
gave them quite another turn: laid down on my traveller's bed, I
left reminiscence for anticipation.
I was going back to Thornfield: but how long was I to stay there?
Not long; of that I was sure. I had heard from Mrs. Fairfax in the
interim of my absence: the party at the hall was dispersed; Mr.
Rochester had left for London three weeks ago, but he was then
expected to return in a fortnight. Mrs. Fairfax surmised that he was
gone to make arrangements for his wedding, as he had talked of
purchasing a new carriage: she said the idea of his marrying Miss
Ingram still seemed strange to her; but from what everybody said,
and from what she had herself seen, she could no longer doubt that the
event would shortly take place. 'You would be strangely incredulous if
you did doubt it,' was my mental comment. 'I don't doubt it.'
The question followed, 'Where was I to go?' I dreamt of Miss Ingram
all the night: in a vivid morning dream I saw her closing the gates of
Thornfield against me and pointing me out another road; and Mr.
Rochester looked on with his arms folded- smiling sardonically, as
it seemed, at both her and me.
I had not notified to Mrs. Fairfax the exact day of my return;
for I did not wish either car or carriage to meet me at Millcote. I
proposed to walk the distance quietly by myself; and very quietly,
after leaving my box in the ostler's care, did I slip away from the
George Inn, about six o'clock of a June evening, and take the old road
to Thornfield: a road which lay chiefly through fields, and was now
little frequented.
It was not a bright or splendid summer evening, though fair and
soft: the haymakers were at work all along the road; and the sky,
though far from cloudless, was such as promised well for the future:
its blue- where blue was visible- was mild and settled, and its
cloud strata high and thin. The west, too, was warm: no watery gleam
chilled it- it seemed as if there was a fire lit, an altar burning
behind its screen of marbled vapour, and out of apertures shone a
golden redness.
I felt glad as the road shortened before me: so glad that I stopped
once to ask myself what that joy meant: and to remind reason that it
was not to my home I was going, or to a permanent resting-place, or to
a place where fond friends looked out for me and waited my arrival.
'Mrs. Fairfax will smile you a calm welcome, to be sure,' said I; 'and
little Adele will clap her hands and jump to see you: but you know
very well you are thinking of another than they, and that he is not